We are living in very challenging times.
I can’t remember a single time when the whole of life as we know it has been as significantly and swiftly changed out of all recognition.
I am left feeling anxious
Bewildered
Panicked
Terrified
To use a modern word I am most definitely ‘triggered’
This Coronavirus is hitting me hard emotionally.
I am struggling with several things:
Uncertainty
Health fears
Financial worries
These things are all extremely painful for me to unravel.
I had a tough early childhood.
I lost 3 close members of my family before the age of 9, including a sibling and a parent.
Unsuprisingly I have ‘issues’ around illness.
Especially as it applies to those I love.
I have asked myself if I chose to work in healthcare because of my past.
So the uncertainty surrounding the outbreak is pushing all my buttons right now.
And pushing them hard.
I grew up in a single parent household on benefits.
We didn’t have much.
As an adult I have set up a fantastic business and struggled month after month to pay my staff. I have battled for several years to try and pay back the debt associated with this time.
I still have a lot of debt which I have been very gradually whittling away.
In one week this has slipped out of my grasp.
The financial uncertainty of months with little or no income is also pushing my buttons
All that I have worked for is gone.
Hence I am struggling.
And I am sure you are too.
We are all completely blindsided by this.
And I have had to give myself permission to be OK with that.
It’s OK to be triggered
It’s Ok to be frightened.
It’s ok to be struggling
We are all in this together.
Stay strong everyone.
Let’s save as many people as we can by #doingtherightthing
I will see you all on the other side.
#nofearhere